Published: Spitball (1989)

For a ballclub to win in the National League
The infielders need to be versed
In the skills of sweeping the diamond
At shortstop and second and first.

Oh, where would Chicago's Bear Cubs have been
In nineteen hundred and eight
If the men who patrolled up the middle
Could only produce at the plate?

If with glove not of gold and hands lined with lead
Each knocked down balls with knees or with head;
Then reached down to launch a sub-orbital throw
To the home team dugout or seventeenth row?

Then Pirates and Giants would score on these terrors
Four runs on no hits but five or six on errors,
On Merkle, on Tenney, on Bridwell; and Honus,
An infield double's your double-hop bonus.

And how would Franklin P. Adams describe
These choreographers' dance?
Why, just slap the ball up the middle.
Tinker to Evers? No Chance!

Tinker To Evers? by Steve Vittori ©